Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Daddy, Can I Borrow the Car?

This pistol-packing mamma exudes attitude as she stares vacantly into the camera lens with a menacing, snub nosed dignity. You mess with her and you mess with a faded leather valise full of piano-wire garrotes, heavy lead-pipe nightsticks and lip-gloss death stars. She’s got copper bore-bristles and gunpowder under her chipped and faded fingernail polish and a copious trunk full of pineapple hand grenades and Thompson automatics. She wears spike-heeled dagger pumps over bootleg nylon panty-hose and her bladeless wipers squeak a frantic, ineffectual dance across a scratched and dirty windshield.

I dig women who pack heat, they are dignified and self-assured and have a deft and graceful confidence in the bedroom, combining a mesmerizing, gentle touch followed by hard, punishing, hump-grinding hip bruises.


  1. She look like 22 but she's really 45 For some reason she done made whole lot of niggas cry So bad that she made them all pull their money out Take it out their pockets and put int in my pouch

    Ah, gotta hate the way the girl do ya She always wanna wat take take take the moolah Gimme them pesos the cash and credit card Might be a problem but the limp hit ya hard

    You the police and we is the robbers You need more than them helicopters to stop us Excuse me let me introduce my lady Her name is Beretta and she's muthafuckin' crazy

    (Borrowed from a remix of M.I.A's Paper Planes)

  2. Joanie Cunningham on meth and moonshine . . . it's Howard's ride.