Monday, September 16, 2013

Snatched Pebbles and Pulled Groins




In my younger days I could cradle a V-twin between my arms and place it inside a frame as a Shaolin Priest burns dragons and tigers into the flesh of his forearms in a ritual act of Kung Fu manhood.

But now, old enough to remember the bare-footed Chinaman who finally tamed the Wild West in the mid Seventies with vicious strikes and whirling leg sweeps, a bag of herbs and a wooden flute, my strength has diminished slightly. I now use a series of cables, pulleys and an old boat winch to hoist the V-twin into the much-maligned frame.

Looks like things should bolt-up pretty well.

The fact that a man, so filled with transcendental self-awareness and inner peace, should be found dead in a Motel 6 laundry room under a pile of dirty towels and pillow cases from autoerotic self -asphyxiation, causes Master Po and The Buddha to openly weep.





16 comments:

  1. Using Chains, Pulleys and some Old Winch sounds alot better than Straining the Shaolin out of the Gibblets!

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    1. I'm with you Paul, anything other having to apply Tiger Balm to some badly tweeked giblets . . . looks fucking horn mate, now I'm convinced I've made the correct decision about horse trading Project Shoveller . . . real women ride Sportsters !!!

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  2. In my wrenching days I could pull a 4 cylinder Kawa by my lonesome and haul it to a work bench...cradleing Shovelheads like babies...balancing a Bultaco 250 in each hand...juggleing Honda 90s like tennis balls...and now I could get a hernia looking at heavy stuff....Shaolin monks and ex-Colonels of POW camps...what's this world coming to?

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  3. Rest assured that the simple machines were not invented by young bucks that were full of piss and vinegar. More likely by those of us a little long in tooth that are doing well to get out of our own way.

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  4. Paul and Whitey, I hope to keep my giblets intact as long as possible.

    Larry, in my prime I would wash down a cup of coffee with battery acid, break loose rusty lug nuts with my teeth and pull a small block V-8 using only the strength of my back and a pair of pickle tongs. Naked......... All before breakfast.

    I hear you B.C. We eventually "work smarter not harder" out of necessity!

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    1. The nekid I can believe...but, come on Herm...pickle tongs?

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  5. You've made a lot of progress. Looks good. Puts my IKEA chair to shame. (It's one of the few things I've assembled in my own.)

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    1. I've seen grown men tear-up when they hear those fateful words...'Honey, I bought some furniture at Ikea today...some assembly required.'

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  6. I tried to toss a salad once and missed.

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    1. I tossed my cookies once and missed ...too.

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  7. aah, Ikea, the devil's furniture, we were sucked in twenty years ago in europe, everyone here followed the masses down to the Ikea store, filling their yellow bag's with tea-lights and clip-frames, i noticed a lot of my friends houses were identikit, safe european, styled, the same pictures of the guy's building the Empire State Building, sitting on the framework of girders eating their lunch, the one of the white pebbles, carefully stacked up adjacent to a river, as if to magnify natures beauty but really?, they were just a bunch of rocks stacked up trying to be 'arty', do you really want the same dinner services, tea cups, bathroom fittings as everyone else, seek out the artisan furniture makers, the local craftsmen and artists, come on America! get yourself to the nearest 'thrift' shop or antique store and buy some class, re-finish and re-cycle, say no to 'fibreboard. 'reconstituted particle' bollock's [and throw that bloody allen key in the bin and buy some decent tool's], just sayin'

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    1. We sent you cardboard furniture, you sent us Simon Cowell. I think we're even Loveless.

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    2. Hey, I was looking for cheap light furniture to be able to move up stairs myself. The Snäumlat Frøgën chair met both requirements. Sorry, I wasn't born with a silver spork in my mouth like you guys.

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    3. I do own a stainless steel spork...purchased at a thrift store (charity shop for some of the overseas readers of this fine blog...)...as well as a lot of my rag-tag furniture (that goes well with my rag-tag motorcycle collection...)

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  8. Hermit, you win, i'll keep the cardboard 'smeg licka', you keep Cowell, the 'ck sukaa' deal?

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  9. Oh...and the bike is looking good Mr.B...and the shop as well...guite tidy.Need to get going and get my projects rolling.

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