Friday, March 14, 2014

Tender Moments in a Plastic Pool

From a now semi-defunct site I infrequently frequented <---------click here

At a party, long ago, somewhere in an impoverished part of my imagination, just east of suburban Omaha Nebraska I dropped some powerful acid with an obese, but thoughtful, Native American woman who looked just like the woman pictured above, except much fatter and uglier. We shared several bottles of strawberry wine while waiting for the drugs to take effect. We parted company, but later I went outside to piss and found her squatted in the prone position in plastic kiddie pool with about two inches of stagnant rainwater sloshing lazily on the bottom wearing nothing but a pair of yellow, rubber boots and a look of deep confusion. Not wishing to alarm her, I went back into the house and found a bottle of Dawn dish soap and a longhandled scrub brush, the kind often used to wash busses and large trucks. I began scrubbing her shoulders while applying long green stripes of the dish soap, creating a fine lather which pooled in the dirty water about her knees and elbows. She would voluntarily raise her arms, first right then left, so I could scrub the stubble ‘neath her underarms, as she moaned with pleasure.
I asked her to flip over, which she did obediently, soapy water sloshing over the sides of the pool like the Orca exhibit at Sea World. She lay there, looking up at me with those dark, pleading eyes, black and deep as puddled motor oil. Out front on the darkening road cars sped past, distressed drivers returning home from their toil, unaware.
I continued to work her torso with gentle, scrubbing motions, her large brown breasts swaying, nipples glistening. I deftly scrubbed her round generous belly in gentle, circular motions, moving slowly down to her cavernous gash. She had a protruding set of vaginal lips, the color and consistency of calf liver, which pulsated regularly to the rhythm of her beating heart. At the slightest touch of the brush bristles, these protrusions would suddenly retract like a pair of frightened eels, emerging again, however tentatively, only after several minutes of persuasive coaxing.
At this point I went behind the bushes and vomited a purple stream of strawberry wine into some freshly placed mulch, held my hands to my head and wept.


  1. we are not worthy, i wake up dreaming of writing stuff like this. bless you hermit.

  2. Good stuff Herm. How come when I used to take Vitamin L...a car full of clowns on their way to a convention,(driven by a woman who was a dead ringer for Groucho Marx) would pull up next to us and stare...or some other equally improbable occurrence....or maybe I just dreamed that stuff... keep 'em coming.

  3. Damn it My Good Man! That has got to be some of the Best Shit I have EVER Heard. With me, it was Window Pain, a Midnight Showing of "Night of the Living Dead"with Visions of Little Demons Dancing in my Head followed by Hours of uncontrollable laughing at shit that was or wasn't there? Anyway... I dig your story.

  4. Amazing... you paint a picture with words as tho i had been there. Sadly, to some extent... I have.....sigh

  5. You are a deeply disturbed man, and I admire you deeply.

  6. Ah, loveless, coming from a wordsmith like yourself that's high praise.
    Larry and Paul, lots of fun, a few less brain cells. Good trade-off.
    Dave, dont worry, your shameful past will remain a secret here.
    Takes one to know one Whitey.