Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sputnik is My Co-pilot

Sputnik rarely complains and performs her duties as Navigator and Chief Security Officer with aplomb. She does however, look at me during the endless hours spent driving, as if to say, “What the f@#k are we doing, and why?” But hers is not to question why, hers is to take up space and bark at the gas station dogs as we leave The Natchez Trace to cut across the seedy underbelly of rural Alabama.
Pulp plants and paper mills, rundown shacks, satellite dishes and a bass boat in front of every trailer. Far-flung small towns and flooded, kiddie pool catfish farms.

Little sleep the night prior, and exhausted as I pressed on, ever-southward. Was propositioned by a big-boned, freckle-faced mulatto hooker in a Dothan, Alabama MacDonald's parking lot. I politely declined, but later wondered if I should have negotiated a loving embrace for a happy meal and a vanilla shake.

Memo to Garmin:

You produce a fine product, but for the love of God, please install a “Keep me the Hell out of the Hood” mode on your GPS device. “Fastest time” mode is ok, but a nigga’ could get killed in the places it takes you.

Yours Truly,



  1. A Man needs a Good Co-Pilot that... 1.) Doesn't Talk Back, 2.) Ask How Much longer, 3.) How Far, 4.)Why did you go this way, 5.) Do you know where you are??????? Bla, Bla, Bla...

    Carry-on my good Man!

    1. Amen Paul,

      My personal favorite is, "You know you're lost, why don't you just ask someone for directions? "

  2. WhatchootalkinboutWillis ??? Buy some warmth from the next Mulatto Mama.

  3. Sputnik looks happy. Miss having a dawg. If I wasn't a city dweller I'd probably have another. Read somewhere where two woman following directions of their Sat-Nav device drove to their deaths off of a pier in the fog. Trust the force Hermit...