This noble beast is my confidant and faithful assistant. As you can see he is the product of hours of intense training and impeccable breeding. Though some may question his ancestry, I feel certain that his champion bloodlines date back to ancient Roman times where his brave ancestors hunted wild stags, fought pitched battles with lion and bear in front of cheering throngs in dusty amphitheatres and fiercely guarded the palaces of Kings, Queens and Noblemen.
He is a deep thinker and prone to periods of introspection and self-doubt. He is sensitive and emotional and fearful of loud noises, vacuum cleaners and a future devoid of classical music and road kill. Trustworthy and faithful to a fault, he’ll never hesitate to take on the difficult tasks such as cleaning up the trash or methodically licking his genitals.
A true American Hero.
The second pic looks artfully staged. No way Maurice coulda done that. Oh yeah, I'm the asshole who renames people's pets for them. It's a service people pay me not to do.
ReplyDeleteYes it was staged, but based on actual events.
ReplyDeleteFor all his excellent breeding, he's a shitty actor.
You shoulda named him Pitbull, you know, like that famous rapper guy feat. on some of J.Lo's jamz.
ReplyDeleteYes, but does he eat his own poop?
ReplyDelete