"Some call him the Gangster of Love,
Some people call him Maurice. ..."
....but he's not. He's Mudflap, a dog of unquestionable integrity. Whelped 'neath an abandoned pickup truck and wet nursed by a she-wolf in the vast Canadian wilderness, he grew to possess a combination of raw speed and astounding brute strength. He is quite capable of running down swift antelope or snapping the femur of a bull moose with his vise-like jaws. With his incredible quickness and uncanny reflexes he can snatch a freshly broiled pork chop off the table with the flick of his tongue, like a lizard catching flies on the outhouse wall. One time, in a formidable display of willpower and determination, he swallowed a dish rag which passed completely through his digestive system with little or no affect on his personality or unflappable self-confidence.
Even though his testicles were snatched from the jaws of victory in a painful, pre-pubescent surgical procedure, he's forgiven me and has become a trusted companion and an effective protector of the vast and complicated Interplanetary Hermit Hovel Compound.