Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Old School NyQuil®

I've always had a healthy respect for over-the-counter cold remedies, NyQuil being my drug of choice. It's pleasant syrupy flavor seeps deep down into frayed nerves and its sweet nectar provides a soothing balm to life's harsh reality.

But, it ain't shit compared to the original good stuff!

This is the precursor to modern NyQuil and obviously a superior product. Judging by the ingredients, I can't help but feeling that we're being short-changed. Unlike the watered-down swill masquerading as cough tonic in today's modern pharmacy, this shit would really kick your ass. Sold by hard working snake-oil salesmen, traveling from town to town in festive painted wagons, this stuff cured all ills and brought joy, bliss, euphoria and drug addiction to insomniac mule skinners and little old ladies with rickets all across this once-great nation.

Alcohol, Cannabis, Chloroform, Morphine (skillfully combined with other ingredients)

Sounds like Friday night at my house.

I was born a hundred years too late.

Oh, Sweet NyQuil®, giver of life, merciful elixir of Angels, nectar of hummingbirds, release me from the surly bonds of this troubled place and deliver me into the waiting arms of Peaceful Slumber………


  1. You cut off the part that said "Children's" on that One Night Cough syrup bottle. You shoulda seen what the adults were taking. I used to hit the Thera-Flu pretty hard until Kanye West wrote a song about it. Thanks to that bastard now I just have to rely on cutting down on my caffeine intact and getting more exercise. Also drinking eight glasses of water a day helps.

  2. Mmmmm...that's why its so refreshing.

  3. The health tonic of a nation, all significant food groups represented . . . like to get some of the turn of the century Coca Cola too . . . mmmmmmmm.