Monday, March 11, 2013

Urban Sprawl

I knew it would come to this. These trips always have their high and lows.
Inland, Central Florida is just a flat, overcrowded turd with endless  strip malls, hot asphalt, stop lights and retail, suburban redundancy.
Miles and miles of traffic. Dismal, blue-haired drivers staring vacantly at their dashboard, pull out in front of hapless riders, like soulless, geriatric zombies, then putter down the road at twenty mph.
Octogenarians, dying manatees and bottlenosed dolphins flop on the sidewalks while estate lawyers, feral dogs and scavanging  pelicans wait patiently to dine on the nourishing, fat-laden carcasses.
Liquor stores, pawn shops and fast food outlets line the streets while leather-faced tweakers drool spittle and failure through sun-blistered lips.

Supposed to rain tomorrow.


  1. Great piece of descriptive wordsmithing mate, brilliant, a real treat.

  2. Well, what do you expect from an entire state shaped like a flaccid dong? Maybe you can find a pick up Bridge game to lift your spirits.

  3. Hear hear! Raconteurmanship . Sad thing,is you've described much of California as well.And as well, probably much of America...the Los Angelezation of the world continues...

  4. I was raised in South Florida in the 60s and left in 1980. I live now in the very North Eastern Tip of Florida close enuff to throw a rock into Georgia! Yep Urban Sprawl has ruined "most" of Florida and it is still spreading like the Cancer it is! There are 20 million peeps in Florida and more are comin! There are still places that are pristine and enjoyable oasis's.............however, I will never tell where they are! One clue....they aint near any big ass city or white beaches! It is what it is! People find a place they like and then screw it up by lovin it to death!

  5. Exactly Chief. North of Ocala is still real nice, rode through palmettos and pines and cattle ranches with very little traffic on the two-lane roads.
    Until about eight years ago I used to park my camper in the Keys for several weeks each winter, (yep a snowbird and part of the problem) and often thought about how cool the Keys must have been in the 50's, 60's and 70's. It slowly got more and more crowded and commercialized, until finally they shut down our campground and built condos in its place. I sold my camper and haven't been back till now. After a visit to the everglades, I'm gonna' risk my life and blast up I-75 on the way home to avoid the blight that is central Florida.

  6. I hate to say this where so many can read it but here we go... I live in Central Florida and have been here all of my life and I agree that what areas used to be Pristeen are mostly Shit-holes. The Pic above looks like a stretch of SR441 around some Mall area and that is shit! I do agree with Big Nasty, there are still some great places in my home state but NEVER EVER let it out to just anyone where they are! Be safe and Ride-on... Maybe next trip will be better.

  7. Actually Paul it's outside of Lakeland, but like HL said, it could be outside of any city in the Amërïka.